Power Ranking the Top 10 Ballpark Foods
10) Burgerizza - Atlanta Braves, Turner Field ($26)
Straight up heart attack meal here. Most of the next one's will be as well but where are you getting more calories than pepperoni pizza and a bacon cheeseburger COMBINED?! You're literally asking to go into cardiac arrest after downing one of these bad boys. Need video of somebody going to town on this thing. NOW.
9) Chicken and Donut Skewer - Texas Rangers, Globe Life Park
What you're seeing here is a foot-long skewer laced with fried chicken and donuts holes, draped in sweet and spicy honey bbq sauce. Good lord. Donuts and chicken are indefinitely the strongest toilet ruining combo. Hope you have the Hazmat team's number in your contact if you plan on indulging.
8) Chicken and Waffle Poutine? Toronto Blue Jays, Rogers Center
Don't really get what the big deal is about these unorthodox chicken combinations. But here we are again, this is chicken over a waffle with maple sriracha drizzle. The maple sriracha DRIZZLE puts me over the edge here... That's vomit szn waiting to happen, especially when mixed with a few Canadian Labatt Blue brewskis.
7) Cheeseburger Dog - Arizona Diamondbacks, Chase Field
This concoction is comprised of char-grilled hamburgers and shaped into a hotdog. She's mixed with bacon, green onion, cheddar cheese, then breaded and deep fried to be served. Yet another diabolical combo here from Arizona, I'd love to know the calorie count on this bad boy. Nevertheless, it's still more doable for me than any of the aforementioned monstrosities. This is a meal that must be split or you're really just the biggest gavonè on the face of the earth.
6) Champions Alley Burger & Dog - Kansas City Royals, Kauffman Stadium
The defending champs coming in hot with their heinous meal this season. These babies are a tempura-battered hot dog and burger, wrapped in bacon, and seasoned with coleslaw and chipotle ketchup. The disparity here is a nice touch by KC, which food would you rather eat fully knowing that in 2 hours you may not make it to the toilet? Burger or Dog?
5) The Wicked Pig - Texas Rangers, Globe Life Park ($27)
First things first, good looks with the sweet baby rays sauce. Everybody knows that's the best barbecue sauce. This is the Wicked Pig and it's the Rangers' second appearance on my top 10. This mega meal is stuffed into a burger bun with pulled pork, danish bacon, sausage, proscuitto (must be nasty in TX), ham, coleslaw, and topped off with that sweet baby rays sauce. No shot anybody takes this down themselves in one sitting, this is Man vs. Food type of shit. They should legitimately offer a prize to whoever finishes this in a certain amount of time.
4) The Flying Pig - Houston Astros, Minute Maid Park
No need to explain what's in this thing as the sign does that job for me. "Pork shank" is something I've never heard of before, must be a southern thing, but I'd be so down to eat the hell out of this thing. This chili and pork combo sounds so fattening and would undoubtedly raise poop meters but so good at the same time.
3) Cracker Jack & Mac Dog
Now I know what you're going to say, how can this be so high up on the list? I'm a sucker for mac and cheese and I think mac and cheese on a hot dog is ingenius. Nothing can ever beat a nice chili dog but you won't really know until you try, and this is definitely something people either love or want to puke at the sight of.
2) Savenor's Steak Tip Sandwich - Boston Red Sox, Fenway Park
As much as I hate putting the Red Sox up this high, this just looks amazing. I'm also going to try to make a roadie up there when the Yanks are in town to get a review on this puppy. This sangy has steak, marinated tips, provolone, and bbq sauce on a crusty roll. Preliminary reviews are looking to be in the 9.05-9.28 range.
1) Irish Nachos - Houston Astros, Minute Maid Park
Oh my lanta, this looks amazeballs. Kettle chips with jalapeños and your basic nacho toppings. Leisurely speaking, this is the most leisure food on this list but looks absolutely unbelievable. I'd 100% be able to munch one of these down myself, possibly two. With the Flying Pig listed at #4 on this list also in Houston, it looks like the 'Stros may take the cake for best food this year.